Global Wave of Light

Today’s blog is a little bit different from my usual posts. Today I want to promote Baby Loss Awareness Week - 9th to 15th October 2017 - and invite you to join with families across the world and take part in the global ‘Wave of Light’. Simply light a candle at 7pm on Sunday 15th October and leave it burning for at least 1 hour to remember all the babies that died too soon. 

As you know, I am running for the charity Tommy’s to raise funds and awareness of miscarriage, still birth and neonatal death. I decided to write an experience which happened after the stillbirth of my daughter which I have shared on the Baby Loss Awareness website. I’ve also decided to share this on my blog as this may explain a few things to friends and family about me.

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When we discovered our baby had no heartbeat at a routine scan our world fell apart. Within two days of the scan I was admitted to hospital and induced to give birth. The whole experience was exhausting, both physically and mentally. But the worst part was having to tell family and friends that we had just given birth to a beautiful but dead daughter. 

Knowing the right thing to say to someone when they are dealing with bereavement is hard. Are there any words that can console? But I’ve always wondered why people send flowers? Is it to signify that life goes on? The cut flowers may die but their beauty lives on in the growing plant?

As soon as we returned from the hospital bouquets of flowers started to arrive. And they kept on arriving. It got to a point that I didn’t have any vases left to put the flowers in. I know the flowers were sent with good intentions but I hated their presence in our house. Every room downstairs was adorned with flower displays and it looked more like a florist shop than a home. I found the intoxicating scent suffocating and couldn’t wait for the flowers to die so I could remove all presence of their existence. To this day I hate cut flowers in my home. It just brings memories of that time flooding back. My husband doesn’t buy me flowers for this reason - he knows.

There was one gift we received during this mourning period that a very dear friend sent to us and it still means the world. She had arranged for a star to be named after our daughter. I thought this was so thoughtful and something that would never die. The star will shine for eternity. Our star. I can never thank her enough for this as it was one of the best things anyone did at that very emotional time.

Wearing my pin with pride

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I’m wearing my pink and blue ribbon pin to promote Baby Loss Awareness and although I’m not particularly religious, whenever I go into a church I always light a candle and send a little message to my daughter. Being part of the ‘Wave of Light’ on Sunday 15th October is especially important to us on this 10th year anniversary. If you know of anyone that has suffered a loss of a baby,  join us and light your own candle.

Thank you.

Wave of Light, 7pm Sunday 15th October 2017

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